Category: Poetry

FOUND lost in the shuffle

October 1, 2010
PoetryRedemption
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FOUND lost in the shuffle

by Gerald T. Ching

 

Wandering amongst the ruins of a decayed wasteland,

my eyes scan the debris and rubble, yearning

for answers. Digging

in the trenches, I search

for what I cannot have.

 

Within this perpetuation

I am bound to this obsessiveness

that leads me by the tip of my nose

through the fields within my mind, in addiction.

 

Against bitter swirling winds I am blown,

but still I press on. Little dogs nip

at the heels of my feet as I shoulder the wind. Running

at a snail’s pace I make my way towards destruction. Pulled

by invisible strings, I am

forever bound to this driven path.

 

Caught within the sands of time,

I melt into wickedness.

The barrier that has shielded me

for all of my years slowly starts to dissolve

into the aging decay of my darkened soul.

 

Beaten and scarred

with scarlet letters pinned to my breast,

the aura of my former self

suffocates in this dimming light

forever found wishing to be lost

once again to ignorance. All the many answers

to the simplicity of why, fill and clutter my head.

 

Confusion sets in

as the overload siren honks and hoots in the still air.

Anxiety sets in

as steam starts to pour from every orifice of my body,

draining me, leaving me exhausted, spent, and shivering in space.

 

Sinking in to the darkness of my shadow

that has become my soul, the tensionsof this heartache

eases; helping to soften the wrinkles

that spider web around my impure eyes.

 

Floating into a dreamscape of reality

I melt into deep slumber

and am set free into the cosmos

with memories of old coming to life,

filling the deepness of my heart.

 

In this weightless environment

all things become possible. The lost moments

that have haunted my wakened existence are relived in perfection;

impulsive decisions turn into thoughtful evaluations

as hindsight becomes foresight

with prudence reigning above all.

 

The should’ve, would’ve, could’ve procrastinations

become living assertive realities, while 

 the chest of regret that a lifetime has gathered and stockpiled

groans in defiance as it feels its demise come charging in.

 

The chains that have kept

these sorrows safe, snap like twigs

as an Angel of the Lord riding a fiery steed of Hope

blazes in on this vision, setting it to ash;

to linger no longer in the remnants of longing.

faithfullyTRUE

September 17, 2010
Poetry
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faithfullyTRUE

by Gerald T. Ching

 

In the moments of my deepest and darkest times

when life has overcome me with its worldly grief

and I am brought to my knees in desperation.

A loving Presence graces me and soothes my soul.

 

The long days that pass by these weary eyes,

flow into the dark nights that weigh upon my soul;

filled with stillborn dreams, stark

with the realities of a fallen world.

 

Enshrouded in this dimness

is a sparkling light of hope

that flickers and flares

within the deficiency of my character.

 

Thoughts and feelings get

pushed and pulled from my struggling soul.

Living in that sparkling light

an Angel of Christ lives

who battles daily to lift this heavy curtain of burden.

 

Quietly with purpose and in purity

he stands full of love, in Truth.

 

With a humble and pure heart

he stands in servitude, awaiting

the final transformation of my capricious soul

as goodness sweeps away the cluttering debris.

 

Sealing me with Your Holy Spirit,

a warm reassuring smile eases the furl of my brow;

brightening the gloom

that surrounds my existence.

 

From the darkness a little boy emerges

naked, frightened, broken, and shivering;

Your Spirit breaks through the barriers that bind.

There is sad joy in his little eyes

as a waterfall of relief rains down.

 

Pulled by an unseen magnetic field,

the darkness seeps away. A reassuring gesture

beckons him into Your heart, filling

the strange longing within his own heart

as he is drawn across to You.

 

In a deep embrace, his soul is finally united –

home at last. Giving way to a bright future

full of big dreams and surrounded by brilliance,

this all encompassing loving light

overflows with compassion.

 

In the moment of my deepest and darkest time,

when life defeated me with its worldly grief

and I stood at the doorstep of death,

I was swept away in the arms of Christ;

brought from the darkness and into the light, saved.

SOULmate

September 10, 2010
HopejourneyPoetryRedemption
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SOULmate

by Gerald T. Ching

 

As the  days creep on in their persistence

I walk along a lonely stretch of earth, gazing.

In the distance, Your lone figure breaks the horizon,

the vaporous heat exhales itself from the ground

blurring and shimmering.

 

Heavy, persistent, burdensome thoughts

weigh upon my fevered mind. With the sun high in the sky,

I make my way towards You. Sweat flows freely

from the pores of my skin, tiny snowflakes of salt form

as I slowly dehydrate in the heat.

 

Crackling lips longing for moisture

burn with the passing of the hour, Your figure

still an oasis within my eyes. Throwing

each apathetic foot forward in a mechanical shuffle,

I am bound to this mission until my death.

 

Shriveling like a prune, I become

like sand with the passing of the hour.

My fate flashes before me

as I fall with the setting sun into deep slumber.

 

Within this peacefulness,

I find a wellspring of hope.

Tears well as the seal is broken

to this resource of unending strength.

 

Filled, refreshed, and rested

I rise with the dawn. As the day’s heat

starts its relentless onslaught, red fills my vision

as I slowly open my eyes.

 

Focusing within these fleeting first seconds

Your Holy Spirit encompasses all – reassuringly steadfast.

With the last bit of my own strength seeping away, I fall

into Your arms. Within Your arms I curl

like a newborn longing for security.

 

Questions rise to my lips

but go unspoken – Your Voice

resounds in my mind, answering all.

For in my weakness

Your strength carried me to You.

 

This long journey back home ends

with a blinding lightning show

as tiny rain droplets fall from a clouding sky,

refreshingly washing away

the memories of a painful life apart.

 

Together at last, the mission complete,

You envelop me completely,

giving me sweet refuge.

LOVE of my LIFE

September 3, 2010
Poetry
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LOVE of my LIFE

by Gerald T. Ching

 

Coming in from the cold, I feel

the rush of heat that blasts from the furnace. I curl

and crunch my toes, wiggling them

in my heavily worn boots

while rubbing my hands together

to help work the circulation back.

 

Flush with the relief of warmth, I make way

to the kitchen table where you wait.

Shadows light your face grotesquely in the dimness

that illuminates the room. Hesitantly,

but with a confident air

I stride across the creaking wooden floor.

 

The air smells of memories, old and musky

their ghosts lingering. Smoke wafts

through the stagnant air from a forgotten cigarette,

the staleness giving way to the hazy deadness of yesteryear.

 

At the table you sit

surrounded by long defeated ghosts.

Your eyes shining in the dimness

strong and true, steadfast.

His strength holding you within yourself.

Unmoving and unwavering,

your calm demeanor eases

my own anxiousness.

 

With you by my side

and me by yours, our worries

float to the fire. Shrills and shrieks

light the furnace as the hazy mist

incinerates to ash, brightening

the small room with a new light of hope,

filling our souls with a fresh love,

and our minds with big dreams.

 

Together we hold all at bay;

together we are home.

 

Sadness welled in the pit of my heart

with the news of your departure. In that split

second, my heart fell from my chest

as grief overcame me.

Within the many tattered letters

that are now my keepsakes, your spirit lives on

as they are read in the privacy of loneliness.

 

A new season promises of joy

with the coming of Spring, a rebirth into a new life

with the melting of the snow. The first blossoms

yearning for nourishment are breaking

the hard packed ground, well rested

in the past long winter months;

their roots still having strength.

Their determination brings tears to these jaded eyes.

 

Collecting the first rays of sunshine, the seedlings

cry to the heavens, boldly announcing

their arrival to an indifferent world

as all newborns do when they are birthed.

 

Peering from the window of a fast moving car,

the blurred landscape of a passing world

covers the miles that these eyes see in all directions;

the misinterpreted vision lays heavy my eyelids. Sinking

into the plush leather upholstery

my thoughts drift into a gentler state of existence,

easing the creases in my brow; softening my face.

 

On the whispering winds my spirit catches a breeze, up

to the dizzying heights of pillow soft clouds – I fly

dreamily banking at impossible speeds, careening through

this ethereal dreamscape – I soar, drunkenly.

Through large patches of space my mind takes me.

Breaking through the cobwebs of old

that clutter my aging mind,

as my spirit soars through grace.

to tHE last

August 27, 2010
Poetry
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TO THE LAST

by Gerald T. Ching

 

In dark slumbering dreams

when the commotions of life,

simmer down

and the pounding in my chest

helps to remind me that I am alive,

Your Spirit engulfs me

in the sweetness of Your essence.

 

In smoky mirrored lens

the dense fog of broken memory

lifts the swirling and fleeting images of remembrance

that flash like fire flies, grounding me

from floating away to be lost into the unknown.

 

My mind toils in jealous rage,

threatening to harden this gentle heart.

Blinding images that lie to my mind’s eye

causes a roaring uprising,

sending me weeping in anger

to sulk in a lightless corner.

In isolation, in the desperate depths of worry

I am forced to battle these rising tides.

 

Clothed in the many blankets of my defenses,

behind the tall towers of these strongholds

I weep in long, loud, hard sobs

wishing for an end to the menacing

green-eyed monstrosity of suspicion

running in hateful rampage and with blind abandon.

 

I am helpless.

 

Stark, vengeful thoughts

bubble and boil in my sinful mind.

Racing at light speeds, the flickering images penetrating

the fog of war that has blinded

the eyes of my heart, which is spiked in fear.

The anxious pounding in my chest

reminding me of this weakness,

breaks me to my knees in submission;

raging and reeling in guilt.

 

Exhaustion over comes me

with the passing of this first wave.

The rushing of adrenaline

seeps away unforgivably in this jealous rage,

taking a little piece of my gentle spirit

without a second glance of regret;

thoughtlessly discarding it,

haphazardly tossing it among all the other debris.

 

With the trumpeting of the buglers sounding the cease fire,

all commotion slows as judgment finally falls across the land.

Laying in heaps on the battlefield, scattered and strewn about

amongst the loneliness of senseless violence

lay the bits and pieces of shattered souls.

In pathetic piles, in stillness, breathing in labored exhales,

their light slowly dims.

 

In the distance with the setting sun

pestilence, fire, decay and death menace the horizon.

The four horsemen of the apocalypse ride,

sweeping up the scattered debris.

Bearing down on the fields of war

they trample the remaining fading stars.

 

Gathering up the extinguishing bits

of darkness and light into themselves,

in supreme justice they clear and cleanse,

leaving in their wake a barren wasteland

with the sun sizzling finitely into the sea,

while the moon rises for its final dance in the cosmos.

LIFEdancer

August 20, 2010
journeyPoetry
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LIFE DANCER

by Gerald T. Ching

 

Somewhere there is a crying child

hungry for the attention of its mother, longing

for a breast to suckle on. Ricocheting

from corner to corner

the cries reverberate off bare walls.

 

Between these gut wrenching sobs

the mother’s reassuring soul sails in on a cool breeze

helping to ease the hollowness of insecurity

as her name gets etched onto the naked walls of a young heart.

 

In the coming days, travelling through ethereal fields

the soul of each beloved loved one

finds its place on this wall of security –

lessening the ache.

 

As the days pass into months

and then years, the walls of this heart grow with the child.

Names upon names are written daily, some

tarnish instantaneously, while others linger

for years – aging within the soul. Solid

in the many passing years

are the first names that built this foundation.

 

Written on the walls of my heart

are the names of all the wandering souls

that have graced my own life. Brushing away

at the tarnish of ages past reveals

the older souls that have past on into sweet oblivion,

their essence still lingering.

 

Left in the wake of this awakening,

a hollowness is revealed. Before my eyes

the younger years of my life flash in revelation

grounding me in my hour of desperation

grasping at my last lifeline –

breathless.

a new BEginning

August 13, 2010
GospelLovePoetryRedemption
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A NEW BEGINNING

by Gerald T. Ching

 

In the dark of the night

when all my defenses disintegrate on compassionate winds

and my soul rests in peaceful bliss,

I journey in my dreams to a star at the very center of the universe.  

 

As the expanse across the bridge to that distant star shortens

and its glowing brilliance starts to encompass all that my eyes can see,  

I feel all that has held me in fear dissipate

in the loving star shine – penetrating

the thick solid walls that have kept me

in false security for so long a time.

 

My soul that was a gift to me,  

I have fed garbage all my life.

As my pride ruled supreme, my heart

quietly suffered, patiently waiting

letting my mind know on the need to know basis.

 

I have been caught

in the lies of a depraved world. The shadows of my past

finally converging with my present state of affairs,

filling the many gaping holes that riddle my soul,

making me face the consequences of sin.

 

My life passes into a panicked state.

What is going on with me?

 

My soul already knowing the score

screams and kicks in rebellion. My heart

knowing a secret waits for some final transformation

that may never arise, but still waits – hopeful.

With a stoutness, never giving up its dreams,

my heart holds on.

 

When I breathe my last breath, I will know the Truth.

When I cry out in sweet anguish to be taken home,

when my rebellion is made obedient,

when the darkness is overtaken by that brilliant Light –

in that final moment I will know the Truth.

 

But for now

with Beauty soothing the ugliness that was born in me and

that has become me, I am a seeker

left to wander this decaying world, in disarray.

 

Throughout the whole of my life I have been working so hard

to prove to everyone that they were wrong about me. This bitterness

has cost me. My arrogance has come at a price.        

All the blood, sweat and tears that was shed for my cause

was poured out in meaningless rage. Not a day

was added to my life, not a hour

to my future, not a minute, to my cause.

 

In ignorance I pressed on

with pride blazing a path before me.

From the deepest and darkest places of wickedness that resides

within me, I struggle towards obedience

searching for freedom.

 

Shadow boxing in this prison

my heart, soul, and mind fight this transformation

while an all consuming jealous fire swirls purposefully, full of love

through all I am. Within this fire, this trueness,

my defenses are not needed and

no walls of solitude stand.

 

The compassion that oversees all in this gift of love

shines Its brilliance that warms the core of my exposed

heart and soul, lighting the way. Sorting

and filtering the negativity

that shatters me to my knees in brokenness.

Within this light love reigns above all

hand and hand with hope, in faith –  together.

 

This Radiance overpowers the hatefulness that surrounds me

as I walk through life, finally

setting me free. Giving me the strength to look

into another’s eyes with unashamed love.  

I have been humbled

to honesty mingle amongst all of you,

full of love and compassion – truly set free.