I’ve heard a preacher recently say that “pain will always seek pleasure to ease the pain” in which I would also add to escape or forget: “Pain will always seek pleasure to ease, escape or to forget the pain.” If I’m honest this was why I started to do drugs and what kept me addicted to drugs. In this life we will experience all sorts of pain, but what will either make us or break us how we deal with this pain. God promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6; Hebrews 13:5) which means to me that whenever I suffer pain, He promises to be with me in my pain and the Bible tells me that if God is there, He will work all things for my good (Romans 8:28). This is an amazing truth. And it is in the midst of embracing this truth that we can being to imagine a life free from all the pain and suffering that a broken and fallen world filled with selfish and sinful people have caused us. This why I love this song so much because it speaks of this kind of hope the presence of God brings to a broken life.
the Ways of God
Over this past week, I’ve been reading through the book of Jeremiah (I spent last month in Isaiah) and what the Holy Spirit has been showing me while I’ve been reading is this: “God’s love is always guided by His truth and His truth is always fueled by His love which constitutes God’s ways.” Now, I know that this is a bit simplistic (I mean there’s also grace, mercy, justice, goodness, etc. all of which are also of God and important), but sometimes I feel like we complicate things. For me, when things happen in my life that I don’t understand, it helps to remind myself that God is love and that He is truth (I would also add that He is good). And though I may not understand why this or that is happening in my life or in the lives of the people around me or the things happening in the world I can trust that God knows what He is doing. Being at peace means I start from a position of trust in God’s ways and that His ways are comprised of His truth and His love.
Systematically, I believe that all truth is God’s truth, but that there is a hierarchy to truth. Meaning, there is general revelation which consists of creation which points to a Creator (Romans 1:18-20), basic principles of the world (Romans 12:1; Colossians 2:20; Galatians 4:3) and the knowledge of morality (Romans 2:14, 15) all of which God set into place when He created the universe (Genesis 1, 2). And then there is special revelation which consists of Scripture (2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 2:20, 21) and Jesus (Hebrews 1:1, 2). Naturally, special revelation must always supersede general revelation. Nonetheless, truth will always be truth and hence must come from God who is truth because God cannot lie. “So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie” (Hebrews 6:18a NLT; also cf. Titus 1:2; Numbers 23:19).
Now if this isn’t enough we must also remember that God’s thoughts and ways are higher than our thoughts and ways (Isaiah 55:8, 9) which collectively hopefully characterizes God as completely transcendent, all-powerful and down right overwhelmingly Divine which should inspire what the Bible talks about as the fear of the Lord (2 Chronicles 14:14; 17:10; 19:7, 9; Job 28:28; Psalm 19:9; 34:11; 111:10; Proverbs 1:7, 29; 8:13; 9:10; 10:27; 14:26, 27; 15:33; 16:6; 19:23; 23:17; Isaiah: 11:2, 3; 33:6; Acts 9:31; 2 Corinthians 5:11). Sometimes, (and I include myself here) I feel like the majesty of God and His transcendentness has gotten lost in the midst of friendship with God. Now, hear me on this, I love being friends with God in fact I cherish our friendship. But, there are times where I can get too comfortable and casual with God where I forget that He is also the Creator of the universe, who is omniscient (knows all things), omnipresent (is able to be in all places at the same time) and omnipotent (all-powerful and all-ruling).
It’s not that the children of God (those found in Jesus) should be fearful of God in the sense that we should run and hide from Him, but that while we fully embrace being friends of God we should also stand in awe of His majesty and bow in reverence to His divinity. I know that this may seem complicated or overwhelming at times, but we can take heart because Jesus fully embodies all of this which is why He is able to say: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me“ (John 14:6 ESV). We must always remember that the only reason that we are friends with God is through Jesus. Without Jesus, we would still be enemies of God because it is only through Jesus’ shed blood on the cross that we have peace with God (Romans 5:1-11). Those found in Jesus need not fear punishment (1 John 4:16-19), we only need to concern ourselves with being disciplined (Hebrews 12:4-11). Biblically speaking there is a difference between punishment and discipline.
Add to all of this that God is love (1 John 4:8, 16) and what we get is the reality that God’s love, truth and ways are deeply and infinitely unified with one another. I don’t believe we can separate them, nor should we ever try or think of them separately but as always working in relation to one another. The love of God always being guided by His truth and His truth always being fueled by His love which constitutes God’s ways because the ways of God must always been seen as being comprised of His truth and His love. I mean, isn’t this what we find in Jesus?
LIFE: love II
“Ordinary people have the power to change other people’s lives. This power to meaningfully change lives doesn’t depend on advice, though counsel and rebuke play a part; nor on insight, though self-awareness that disrupts complacency and points toward new understanding is important. No, this power to change lives comes from connecting, on bringing two people into an experience of shared life” (25). Hence, one of the many reasons why in the very beginning, God said that it was “not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Now, a “Gospel community is built upon the shared lives of believers who have given their lives to Jesus Christ and now live for Him. What stands at the center of a New Covenant community are forgiven people who have caught a glimpse of Christ, and in whom the Spirit now uses that glimpse to create goodness within them, a goodness that defines who we are” (11). No longer does our sinfulness define us, because Jesus has taken our sinfulness upon Himself at the Cross and in return has imputed (accredited) to us His righteousness. This is the Gospel.
Simply put, we have traded our sinfulness for Jesus’ righteousness and in the process have been fully forgiven. “When God forgives us for violating His design, He pours His life into us; and that restores our capacity to connect, first with Him, then with others. He makes us alive with the actual life of Christ, so that the impulses that energized Jesus’ life on earth are actually in us. This is what being alive in Christ means” (29). It is no longer we who live, but Jesus who lives in and through us (Galatians 2:20). “When believers can offer one another a taste of the delight of Christ that lives within them, they begin to impact one another in a profound way and they start to change for the better because they touch one another with the transforming power of the love of God. When believers make meaningful soul connections with one another their love grows and deepens because we were designed to connect, first with God and then with each other” (45).
In my book, both greater relational capacity (1 John 1:7) and love (1 John 2:10) are sure markers of life. I know I say this a lot, but love is a relational concept. In order for love to be fully realized there needs to be a relationship in place. God created us out of love, for love and to love, which from my perspective means He created us for relationship. “Connecting is life. Loneliness is the ultimate horror. In connecting with God, we gain life. In connecting with others, we nourish and experience that life as we freely share it. Believers have the capacity to enjoy the wonder of a relationship built on grace that no angel has ever personally experienced because fallen angels are not forgiven and unfallen angels don’t need to be” (45). It’s within this eternally redeemed community that believers experience the love and joy that comes from a loving Savior who calls them beloved. As the old saying goes, “to love is to live.” But, I would add to love one another is to truly live.
So this is my prayer: that the Lord would increase our ability to love, that He would grow and mature us in understanding the Father’s love and that He would place in us a courage and boldness to love in any and every situation and with everyone. Help us Lord to fully embrace the reality that we are Your beloved in whom You delight and are well-pleased with. In Jesus, Amen.
*excerpts from Larry Crabb, Connecting (1997)
LIFE: love I
The more I experience life with God, the more I am caught up into His love. Life and love go hand-in-hand. I don’t believe you can truly know God without experiencing both because God is both. God is love (1 John 4:8) and God is life (Genesis 1, 2; Exodus 3:14; Psalm 139:13-16; John 1:4; 8:58; 14:6; Thessalonians 1:9). It is within love that life gets released. When Jesus came down from Heaven to Earth, He said He came to give us life abundant (John 10:10b). I believe there is much confusion in what most believers understand as being a child of God and what it means to be in Christ. For those in Christ there is no more punishment from God, only discipline (Hebrews 12:10, 11). Because Jesus took upon Himself the full wrath of God for sin (Romans 3: 23-25; 1 John 2:2), citizens of the Kingdom of God no longer have to fear judgment or punishment.
“All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because He loved us first” (1 John 4:15-19 NLT). What this says to me is that the more we know and experience God’s perfect love in Jesus, the more we will understand that we no longer have to fear judgment or punishment from God because through Jesus we can approach the Father with confidence (also cf. Hebrews 4:14-16). Even more, it is God’s love that fuels our love (v.19). Love and life go hand-in-hand, “all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them” (v.16), what an amazing truth.
But, one of the more effective schemes of the devil is to trick people into believing that God’s heart towards us is to do us wrong and that He cannot be trusted. Isn’t that what happened in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3) and what the devil tried to do during Jesus’ testing in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11; Luke 4:1-13)? If the devil can skew our perspective on the goodness of God than in many ways he has succeeded in driving a wedge between us and God because he has stolen our confidence in approaching God for love and care. The Scripture verse that continually helps me to reorient myself in understanding God’s heart towards me in contrast to the devil’s schemes is John 10:10 “The thie
f [devil] comes to steal, kill and destroy. I [Jesus] came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (ESV). We must never forget that God’s desire is that we should live! His heart towards us is to bring more and more life (and love) into our lives.
So this is my prayer: that the Father would pour out His grace upon our lives and that He would heal our minds by replacing any distorted views we have of Him with the truth of what His Word and Spirit testify to Who He Is. That through the living presence of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us He would release more of His love and life, so that it literally overflows into every area of our lives and into every relationship. In Jesus Name, Amen.
birthRIGHT of love
God is continually transforming us into the likeness of Jesus (Romans 8:29). What this means for us is that God is continually stretching us to love as Him. A prophetic image that the Lord gave me for this was of new wine being poured into a heart shaped wineskin which symbolizes God pouring His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). Now the more that God’s love marinates within our hearts, the more it expands our capacity to love. His love literally stretching our hearts just as new wine stretches wineskins as it ages and matures. The longer and more fully we embrace the Father’s love, the more His love will stretch us to love as Him. I am completely convinced that the Father’s love changes everything because His love is fully alive and moves us to live more abundantly which for me means being set free to love completely.
Genuine love is a God given birthright that too many people fail to claim. I mean we live in a pornographic culture where people pawn their God given birthright of genuine love in exchange for something that is perverted, shallow and selfish. God is love (1 John 4:8) and so He designed us to love. But, sin has perverted the way that we love. Now, here’s the good news of the Gospel for those who choose to believe: Jesus has restored us back into fellowship with God which means the Father’s love now lives within us by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). Jesus has redeemed our perverted love back into genuine love. But, we need to choose to reclaim our God given birthright to this love which means letting go of our old way of loving and choosing to learn this new way of love.
After coming to faith in Jesus, one of the very first things that God revealed to me was that I really didn’t know what it meant to love. In that moment, Holy Spirit moved me to begin praying this very simple prayer: “Jesus, teach me to love.” I remember praying this prayer every day for years. Today, I am close to being 10 years in the Lord and I still pray this simple prayer, maybe not daily as I used to, but at least once a week I am confronted with how much more I need to learn about loving people unconditionally. What I’ve come to realize is that it’s God’s love that transforms my love to be more like his true love (I blogged more on this here: TRUE ✞= ♥ LOVE). Again, it’s Jesus who has redeemed our perverted love back into His genuine love.
A Scripture verse that I find great comfort in is 1 John 4:19 which says, “We love because God first loved us.” I find comfort in this because this means that I don’t have to generate this genuine love on my own, but just need to lean more and more into God’s perfect love (1 John 4:18). The more I press into God’s love the more His love will fuel my love both for Him and for others. So this is my prayer: “Jesus, teach us to love. Help us to follow your lead in loving the Father and loving others. Father, pour more of Your love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom You’ve given us. And Holy Spirit help us to rest in the Father’s love. In Jesus Name, Amen.
“You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts” (2 Corinthians 3:3 NIV).
a new BEginning
A NEW BEGINNING
by Gerald T. Ching
In the dark of the night
when all my defenses disintegrate on compassionate winds
and my soul rests in peaceful bliss,
I journey in my dreams to a star at the very center of the universe.
As the expanse across the bridge to that distant star shortens
and its glowing brilliance starts to encompass all that my eyes can see,
I feel all that has held me in fear dissipate
in the loving star shine – penetrating
the thick solid walls that have kept me
in false security for so long a time.
My soul that was a gift to me,
I have fed garbage all my life.
As my pride ruled supreme, my heart
quietly suffered, patiently waiting
letting my mind know on the need to know basis.
I have been caught
in the lies of a depraved world. The shadows of my past
finally converging with my present state of affairs,
filling the many gaping holes that riddle my soul,
making me face the consequences of sin.
My life passes into a panicked state.
What is going on with me?
My soul already knowing the score
screams and kicks in rebellion. My heart
knowing a secret waits for some final transformation
that may never arise, but still waits – hopeful.
With a stoutness, never giving up its dreams,
my heart holds on.
When I breathe my last breath, I will know the Truth.
When I cry out in sweet anguish to be taken home,
when my rebellion is made obedient,
when the darkness is overtaken by that brilliant Light –
in that final moment I will know the Truth.
But for now
with Beauty soothing the ugliness that was born in me and
that has become me, I am a seeker
left to wander this decaying world, in disarray.
Throughout the whole of my life I have been working so hard
to prove to everyone that they were wrong about me. This bitterness
has cost me. My arrogance has come at a price.
All the blood, sweat and tears that was shed for my cause
was poured out in meaningless rage. Not a day
was added to my life, not a hour
to my future, not a minute, to my cause.
In ignorance I pressed on
with pride blazing a path before me.
From the deepest and darkest places of wickedness that resides
within me, I struggle towards obedience
searching for freedom.
Shadow boxing in this prison
my heart, soul, and mind fight this transformation
while an all consuming jealous fire swirls purposefully, full of love
through all I am. Within this fire, this trueness,
my defenses are not needed and
no walls of solitude stand.
The compassion that oversees all in this gift of love
shines Its brilliance that warms the core of my exposed
heart and soul, lighting the way. Sorting
and filtering the negativity
that shatters me to my knees in brokenness.
Within this light love reigns above all
hand and hand with hope, in faith – together.
This Radiance overpowers the hatefulness that surrounds me
as I walk through life, finally
setting me free. Giving me the strength to look
into another’s eyes with unashamed love.
I have been humbled
to honesty mingle amongst all of you,
full of love and compassion – truly set free.
loveLIFE
“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35 NIV).
Highlights from “LOVING EACH OTHER” by Leo Buscaglia
There is nothing greater in life than loving another and being loved in return.
-A loving relationship is not defined by time, but rather by quality of caring. At its best, it is a healthy mutual exchange of thoughts, feelings and experience. It is home for one’s soul – a place to be ourselves and explore our deepest, inner yearnings, hopes, fears, joys. It is an environment within which we can relax and are comforted.
-A loving relationship is one in which both parties feel so loved, so accepted and so safe that they can share their innermost feelings, dreams, failures, successes, without reservations. It is a give and take, two-way reciprocal interaction rooted in mutual respect and cloaked with dignity, where tears and smiles are of equal importance and one that continually nurtures and supports growth.
-A loving relationship is one in which individuals trust each other enough to become vulnerable, secure that the other person won’t take advantage.
-A loving relationship is one in which one can be open and honest with one another without the fear of being judged. It’s being secure in the knowledge that you are each other’s best friend and no matter what happens you will stand by one another.
-A loving relationship is one in which you accept the other person at the moment as a whole and receive that same acceptance.
-A loving relationship is one in which there is a mutual caring about the growth and progress of each, where possessiveness gives way to offering the other to be his or her own person, where selfishness gives way to selfless giving, sharing and caring – Where the lines of communication are kept open, where the good in each is maximized, the bad minimized.
-A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be him/herself to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love him/herself, to love being loved, such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.
-A loving relationship is one in which each one sees the beloved not as an extension of self but as a unique, forever becoming, beautiful individual – A situation in which the persons can bring their own special I to each other, a blending of selves without the fear of loss of self.
-A loving relationship is a wanting to celebrate, communicate, and know another’s heart and soul.
“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart” (Proverbs 3:3 TNIV).
childHOOD
What happens when fear, anger, disappointment and loneliness are left to grow unattended in a child? For me, these emotional states of being began to shape and form an inward and outward hatred and vengeance both towards others and myself. What does this look like? Let me start off by describing the people I began to admire: bikers, mobsters and gang members. From my perspective these where the types of people that people thought twice about messing with and that’s what I wanted. But, even more – I wanted to be the one who doled it out, instead of the one who always took it. At the root of this was the desire to be in control. If, you’ve ever been picked on then you’ve felt that powerlessness and loss of control.
So, at a young age I learned that lying was more than just a way of getting out of trouble, but also a way of being in control. As twisted as it sounds, I enjoyed lying because in my young mind it was a source of power: I controlled what people knew about me. But, lying was too narrow of an outlet for the deep reservoir of growing hatred and vengeance within my heart. So when I was in fifth grade (10 years old), stealing entered the picture. Again, stealing was another way for me to feel like I was in control, but it also provided a way for some payback. More often than not, the people I stole from hadn’t done me any wrong, but in my mind someone needed to pay and everyone was fair game. By the time I started HIGHschool, I was quite the lying kleptomaniac who had the criminal record to show for it. But, lying and stealing just wasn’t enough of an outlet. That’s when drugs entered the scene. Compound all of this with a growing inferiority complex and this hatred and vengeance also began to turn inward.
Why is all this important? Every single person is born with a voice. We all have this inherent need to be heard. But, when this voice is smothered or even stolen from us seeds of fear, anger, disappointment and loneliness begin to take root and as is evident in my life and countless others has the potential to breed hatred and vengeance within the heart. I can’t stress enough the importance of mentoring. But, what is even more important is allowing children (and all people for that matter) to have a voice. Sure we still need to help nurture and shape them, but we must also allow them to feel secure enough to express themselves: to lay claim their own voice. I understand that this is the harder road. It’s always easier to superimpose our passions and desires onto others, rather than taking the time to nurture and shape them into who they are becoming according to their personality, interests, talents and passions. But, this harder road is also the better road.
Very early on after I came to faith in Jesus, what has always resounded so loudly within my heart and mind has been the reminder that “love takes work.” Now this journey of love has definitely been a difficult one because if done right: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT). Now that’s a pretty tall order in which I have fallen short many a time. But, what comforts me is the reality that I’m not alone in this. Jesus has given me the Holy Spirit, who lives within me, to empower me to love as He does. I mean if I believe in a Triune God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) and that God is love (1 John 4:8, 16) then I can say with complete confidence that divine love literally lives within me. So maybe it’s not so much about trying to generate a selfless love on my own, but about leaning into the selfless love that already resides within me through the Holy Spirit. The more I’ve leaned into God’s perfect love the more I’ve been able to find and reclaim my voice because it’s in Him that I’ve discovered who I am and why I was created.
Fueled by the Holy Spirit
“For God did not give us a Spirit of timidity, but a Spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV).
There’s this story of a Christian missionary working with people with HIV in Africa. One day a photo journalist comes to the camp where she’s ministering at and begins taking pictures. While watching her, he is moved by her gentle care and obvious love for these people. All day he sees her love and care for these terminally sick people and what he finds so moving is that she actually enjoyed being there. After spending a day there, the journalist begins to leave, but before he does he asks the woman, “How can you stay here, there’s so much death and despair, there’s no hope for these people?” And she answered back, “The love of Jesus compels me to stay, I can really do no other.”
And with that the journalist leaves, but while driving he can’t get the missionary’s words out of his head. As the story goes, he is so moved by her words that he comes to faith while developing the pictures he took. Our Christian service when empowered by Christ’s love becomes a power witness. Though the missionary only said a few words to the photo journalist, what amazed him was the fact that there could be a love so strong that this woman would endure such tragedy willingly and with joy. The missionary’s Christian service fueled by the Holy Spirit truly magnified the Gospel.
This Spirit, who pours out power and love into Christians, also gives us self-discipline. Self-discipline for Timothy as for us means the ability to control our actions and thoughts preventing any reactionary behavior which in turn will help us to assess any situation, especially difficult ones, with the clarity of mind necessary to trust in the invisible God despite any threats, distractions or tragedy. What this means is when we’re in the heat of the moment, when our emotions are running high and we’re feeling a lot of pressure or under a lot of stress, the Holy Spirit helps us to make good and loving decisions, so that when we look back on our lives there will be less regrets about how we acted in any given situation.
Redemptive Relationships
Friendships are important. When I think back on my life, what I remember most are my friendships. Sure, I may remember certain times and places, maybe things I’ve done (or wished I did). But most of all I remember the people who shared those moments with me. When I look through the photo album in my mind that stores the snapshots of my life, I see people because if we really boil it down, all we truly have in this life are our relationships. Now if I call myself a Christian, the Bible challenges me to make all my relationships redemptive ones. What is a redemptive relationship? It’s a relationship that always has eternity in view. Jesus was a man who lived His life on earth in this way. When Jesus talked to someone or touched someone He made an eternal impact on their lives. Sometimes it was for the better (those who accepted His message and believed), but other times it was for the worse (those who rejected His message). Either way, people left Jesus changed because redemptive relationships have eternal impact.
As followers of Jesus, being redemptive needs to be infused into who we are. It needs to be part of our spiritual DNA, so that no matter where we are, we will be living as God has called each of us which is to first and foremost love Him but also to love one another. When we are truly living out our faith, we will be caring for one another in genuine community as a family, uplifting the Body of Christ and we as God’s people will experience a deeper understanding of Christ’s love for us. When this happens, we will begin to see the deep need to be actively living redemptively in all our relationships because when we are, we will touch people’s hearts with the love of Christ. Now, if we are to be thinking redemptively, we have to remember that it’s our faith in Christ that activates love and empowers us through the Holy Spirit to be grace and truth to people. And when we are this way, people’s hearts will be refreshed which will not only bring renewal, but will also inevitably impact their lives with the transforming power of God’s love which will deepen their understanding of who God is and His love for all of us. This is what it means to be redemptive.
There’s a difference between counseling someone’s flesh and refreshing someone’s heart by encouraging their spirit. Encouraging someone’s spirit means washing them with God’s Word, but that doesn’t mean spiritualizing everything by giving Bible verses like aspirin. Sometimes being God’s Word to a person is what shows greater love. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Sometimes a person just needs you to sit, weep and mourn with them. Just your presence speaks volumes. Being intentionally redemptive in a relationship also means not just dealing with a person’s behavioral or heart sins, life burdens, pains and fears, but also a person’s heart longings and desires. We all have deep longings and yearnings (wishes, hopes and dreams that long to be released from our hearts), but oftentimes they go unspoken or unnoticed because we can get so caught up in telling people how we think they should act instead of taking the time to draw out who God has called and redeemed them to be.
Now, on my journey with Jesus, He has taken me through the depths of my heart where I’ve had to be brutally honest with myself. Spiritual self-awareness is a blessing and whenever I’ve taken an honest look at my life, both in my heart and in my behavior that’s when change began to happened: that’s when redemption was able to take hold. This also meant allowing others to speak truth and life to me, even when it was hard to hear. Facing our fears can be terrifying at times, but on the flipside of our fears are the desires of our hearts. If you have a fear of being judged, your desire maybe to be known, to be heard, to be real, to be loved. If you have a fear of rejection, your desire maybe to be accepted, to belong, to be included, to be appreciated. If you have a fear of failure, your desire maybe to be recognized, to be valued, to be validate, to be a blessing. What this means within the context of a redemptive relationship is that we not only address a person’s fears, but we also draw out their desires. You nurture them, so that their desires become greater than their fears. Of course, I am talking about healthy and godly desires and not sinful ones. All of us have desires that God has put into our hearts and when we act redemptively in a relationship, we help draw out these desires. Proverbs 20:5 (TNIV) says, “The purposes of the human heart are deep waters, but those who have insight draw them out.”