I’ve just spent the last couple days reading “Here and Now: Living in the Spirit” by Henri J.M. Nouwen. I literally could not put the book down. It kept me captivated page after page because the author’s words were so saturated with the love and grace of God. My heart drank deeply of his gentle words which allowed me to soak in the love tub of Jesus. What I encountered continually while reading was the sweet conviction of the Holy Spirit, His kind hand of love pulling ever so gently at my heart. Something that I hadn’t felt for some time now.  The combination of seminary + ministry has gotten me moving at breakneck speeds which was in an of itself an amazing journey (I wouldn’t change any of it). But, to be able to slow down and take a deep long drink of living water without worrying about a deadline or a meeting has been so refreshing. It was like Jesus breathing life into me all over again. Thank You, Sweet Savior.

Page after page I encountered a humility that made me all the more aware of my own hardness of heart and the realization that I have much to learn about love. My pride has led me down the path of exalting myself in the way I exercised my gifts and talents. What I’ve learned because of this is that when this happens love disappears. Sure truth still got proclaimed. But the truth was given with an insensitive heavy hand, instead of with a patient understanding that wraps the truth in love in order to heal and not accuse or condemn. I am thankful for Henri’s words that have helped to refocus and ground me: “It is not proving ourselves to be better than others but confessing to be just like others that is the way to healing and reconciliation” (99). There is strength in these words because they speak of unity. They seek to embrace the prayer of Jesus for our oneness (John 17:20-23).

I’ve come to realize that to love is a journey that demands patience, endurance, hard work, hope and trust. I’ve also realized that it is a lifelong journey. I do have a lot to learn about love, but, I am in good company. “To pray is to listen to that voice of love….the One who is with us wants only one thing: to give us love” (20). Henri’s book has brought me back to my Christian mystic roots where prayer is about communing with Jesus through the Holy Spirit. His words have reminded me that prayer is a time where our heavenly Father actively loves on His children.