Freedom Blog

On Sunday, September 27th, 2010, God supernaturally grew out one of my legs and then evened them out. Yes, a physical creative miracle happened. The back story on this is that over the last four or five years my lower back has been steadily giving me more and more pain. All of this culminated a week before when I flew from Los Angeles to Chicago (September, 19th). After the flight I started to feel a sharp pain in my left leg and it even started to go numb from time to time. On Monday, I rested as much as I could, but the pain was still there. On Tuesday, I was walking through a grocery store and in the back by the pharmacy there was a little stand where a chiropractic business was checking people’s balance. I filled out the form and let them know that I had ongoing lower back pain and that now my left leg had just started to hurt and go numb from time to time. So, they had me stand on two scales, one for each foot and checked my balance. What the balance test revealed was that I leaned almost 12 pounds (5.5 kg) to my left leg which normally should only be a 2-3 pounds (0.9-1.2 kg) difference confirming that added pressure was being put on my sciatic nerve and was possibly causing the numbness.

To back up a bit, the week before all of this happened I felt the Lord really challenge me while I was at a prayer meeting (Septmeber 15th) where people were praying for healing for a woman. I very distinctly heard Jesus ask me: “Do you really believe that the Father will give you anything that you ask of Him in My Name?” His voice wasn’t an audible voice, but I distinctly felt and heard His voice reverberate throughout the whole of my being. I heard it in my head and in my heart all at the same time. It was like Jesus was speaking directly to my spirit. So, for the next few days I really wrestled with this question. But as I wrestled, Holy Spirit kept reminding me that the only reason that I live, move and have my being in Him at all is because of God’s grace. All the blessings in my life are truly undeserved; be it healing, salvation, deliverance, redemption or restoration. As Paul so eloquently put it, “But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me—and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace” (1 Corinthians 15:10 NLT).

If you know my story, then you may think that if anyone should get this it’s me. But, though I have experienced many supernatural moves of God’s grace in my life, I still wrestled deep within my heart with a distorted view of God’s heart towards me. God’s heart towards us is to heal, save, redeem and restore, period. I mean He gave up His one and only Son, Jesus, so that He could accomplish all of these things through an intimate relationship with us for all eternity. That’s God’s heart towards us. He’s not stingy with His love, goodness, mercy and grace, but infinitely generous and compassionate when it comes to gifting, blessing and showing favor towards us. We just need to believe and receive His love, goodness, mercy, grace, gifts, blessings and favor. Coming to this revelation has really freed up my heart and mind to just receive from the Lord and allow Him to pour out the fullness of His grace upon my life. In my wrestling what I was confronted with was the belief that 1) I thought I needed to work for God’s grace, 2) I didn’t think that God wanted to show me more of His favor and 3) because I was too proud or too ashamed I would just plain refuse to accept God’s favor. But, the breakthrough came when I began repenting for these distorted beliefs of trying to earn God’s favor by working for it, of my own self-condemnation that I projected onto God thinking He didn’t want to show me more of His favor and of my pride and shame that refused to accept God’s goodness and blessings towards me.

Now back to the healing miracle at hand. After leaving the balance test, I began to think that maybe my left leg was a little longer than the other and because of this has effected my lower back over the years which is quite typical from what I understand. That night I had my connect group (small group) pray for my back, a couple people said they definitely felt like there was a spiritual component, one of them saw an image of a vine wrapped around one of my legs. When I woke up on Wednesday, the pinching and numbness was gone. Later that day I felt like I should try and measure my legs and ask for God to even them out. So, I sat on my bed stretched my legs out and placed my hands on my right hip and began to simple ask the Father in Jesus Name to even out my legs. Nothing fancy. Right away my right hip began to tingle for a minute or so and then stopped. In my spirit, I really felt like God did do something, but I wasn’t sure what. So, I thanked God for healing me and that was that. (I know this post is extra long, but I really want to give as clear and detailed account of everything that happened, so please bear with me. I promise you it’s worth it.)

Fast forward to Sunday, September 27th, 2010 around 8pm. I am at a teaching session on healing (through my church: CITC) at Chris and Nancy Whiteley’s house. As the teaching portion was ending, I asked the group to pray for my back pain. I didn’t go into detail of what had transpired earlier in the week, but did share that I felt like my back pain had a spiritual component, was possibly connect to a generational curse and that I felt like one of my legs could possibly be longer than the other. So, Nancy and Chris led me through a prayer of repentance over the generational curse over my family and then began prayerfully breaking in Jesus Name any connection that a spirit of infirmary may have had over my back pain and began praying for healing and restoration to any degenerative damage to my back. During this time I really didn’t feel anything at all. So, next they had me sit in a wooden chair with my lower back resting fully against the back of the chair. Chris then had me lift my legs and he held my feet together to see if they were different lengths. After the group looked at my legs they said that my right leg was definitely a little shorter than the left.

So, while Chris was holding my feet, Dave Foster put his hand on my right shin and began to invite the Holy Spirit to come and bring healing to my leg. Then Taylor Lyall, who had his hand on my right thigh began to command my right leg to grow out in Jesus Name. Here’s where it gets good. All of a sudden my right leg from the knee down began to tingle like crazy and then it felt like someone yanked really hard on my right foot and I literally felt my leg grow out from around my ankle area. Everyone there started screaming that my foot just totally grew out like an inch or so (maybe around 3 cm). Personally, it really felt like my leg had grown too much. I didn’t say anything but then Chris had Monica come put her hand on my feet and she began to pray that God would even out my legs. Then my left ankle area began to tingle too and it really felt like both my legs were shifting about. It was quite a strange feeling. I was literally holding onto the chair like I was about to take off or something. All in all, I think we prayed for maybe 10 minutes while I was sitting in the chair. Afterwards, when I stood up it definitely felt different.

Today (September 27th), as I am writing this the calf muscle in my right leg feels extra tight and my right knee feels a bit weird like it’s adjusting or something. I have no more pain in my lower back, but I do feel like the muscles back there are a tiny bit sore as well. Maybe my lower back muscles, nerves and tendons are also adjusting I’ll see over then next few weeks if I need more restorative prayer on my back. Over the weekend, I bought a balance board and ordered a Bosu ball because I wanted to work on resetting my balance. I’m glad I did because now I can work on my balance, not because I have one leg shorter than the other, but because God miraculously lengthened and evened out my legs and now I need to reset my balance because I have too legs that are the same length. God’s grace and goodness towards us is so amazing! So amazing!!!

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The basis for any theology must be grounded in the God man Jesus Christ. If it is not, than you might as well start a new religion based on any deranged egomaniac of your choosing. It is only through Christ’s redeeming finished work of His death, resurrection, ascension, and glorification that any one of us can call ourselves a child of God. As Jesus Himself said, “Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. . . . Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me!” (John 8: 43-45 NIV). Without Him we are truly blinded by sin and lost in total depravity due to the Fall (Genesis 3).

Because of our fallen nature we all have an obsessive and compulsive tendency to do evil and follow the devil. Paul not only confirms the words of Jesus, but he also gives us our hope in Him as well when he so eloquently states, “All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:3-5 NIV).

If we are to further God’s Kingdom here on Earth, our very identity must be in Christ (Romans 8:1) and we must go out in His name (Mark 16:15-18), who is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords (Revelation 9:16). If we are not grounded in Christ, the Word made man (John 1:14), than our efforts will be purely humanistic, rather than for the Kingdom of God. In the end, we must recognize that we were created by and for Christ (Colossians 1:16) so that we could do good works in Christ (Ephesians 2:10). What else do we have to hang our hats on? If not the promises of God, that have been, are being, and will be fulfilled by Christ Jesus. Thankfully He will be with us always, even until the end of the age (Matthew 28:20b).

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faithfullyTRUE

by Gerald T. Ching

In the moments of my deepest and darkest times

when life has overcome me with its worldly grief

and I am brought to my knees in desperation.

A loving Presence graces me and soothes my soul.

The long days that pass by these weary eyes,

flow into the dark nights that weigh upon my soul;

filled with stillborn dreams, stark

with the realities of a fallen world.

Enshrouded in this dimness

is a sparkling light of hope

that flickers and flares

within the deficiency of my character.

Thoughts and feelings get

pushed and pulled from my struggling soul.

Living in that sparkling light

an Angel of Christ lives

who battles daily to lift this heavy curtain of burden.

Quietly with purpose and in purity

he stands full of love, in Truth.

With a humble and pure heart

he stands in servitude, awaiting

the final transformation of my capricious soul

as goodness sweeps away the cluttering debris.

Sealing me with Your Holy Spirit,

a warm reassuring smile eases the furl of my brow;

brightening the gloom

that surrounds my existence.

From the darkness a little boy emerges

naked, frightened, broken, and shivering;

Your Spirit breaks through the barriers that bind.

There is sad joy in his little eyes

as a waterfall of relief rains down.

Pulled by an unseen magnetic field,

the darkness seeps away. A reassuring gesture

beckons him into Your heart, filling

the strange longing within his own heart

as he is drawn across to You.

In a deep embrace, his soul is finally united –

home at last. Giving way to a bright future

full of big dreams and surrounded by brilliance,

this all encompassing loving light

overflows with compassion.

In the moment of my deepest and darkest time,

when life defeated me with its worldly grief

and I stood at the doorstep of death,

I was swept away in the arms of Christ;

brought from the darkness and into the light, saved.

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Have you ever really thought about what it means to truly live free? At first impulse, most of us would probably define this as: the freedom to do whatever we please, whenever we please. But, I believe that living like this will actually put us into more bondage, rather than freedom. I mean if we really sat down and took an honest look at our lives, we would see that we are all in bondage to a variety of things, both tangible and intangible, that keep us from living a truly abundantly full life. Now without going into detail about what an abundantly full life looks like. Simply put, from my perspective an abundantly full life is a life free from sin where we can actually choose not to do things. For me, that’s the core characteristic of freedom. When we are in bondage to something we lose the ability to choose. The world teaches that freedom is the ability to do anything, anytime regardless of the consequences. But, I believe that true freedom is the ability to choose to not do something. What is it in your life that has stolen your ability to choose?

Addiction is the epitome of the loss of freedom and there are so many addicted people in the world. Now, this may or may not surprise you, but, I believe, if we are all really honest with ourselves we will see, even admit, that we are all prone towards addiction. Take the the 420 Prayer Movement, we exists because of the harsh reality of the prevalence of drug and alcohol addiction. But, there are lots of people who are addicted to other tangible things like: smoking, gambling, food, video games, the Internet, sex, shopping, work, gossiping etc. But, there are also lots of people who are addicted to intangible things (which often times underlie the tangible addictions: anger (rageaholism), lust (fantasizing), stress & anxiety (always being in crisis), greed (accumulation of stuff), comfort (adverse to any change), laziness (lack of motivation), pain (self-punishment/mutilation), etc. But, the story doesn’t stop with our addictions. At the heart of the 420 Prayer Movement is the greater reality that true freedom can happen through Jesus. Do you believe this?

I mean, we all may say we believe this, but do your prayers reflect the truth that God is still supernaturally transforming lives? More specificallly, that He not only is able to set people free from addictions, but that He actually wants to do this because I believe He does. If you have never heard my story, please check it out because my own life is testimony to this truth. Too often I hear people say, “Well, that’s just the way I am” or even “What’s the use, I can’t change.” What this says to me is that they’ve lost any hope to change and are living purely coping lives without much hope, let alone joy. Addiction has a nasty way of sapping any and all hope, life and joy from people’s lives. But, that’s not what the Gospel says, at the heart of Jesus’ ministry was to preach good news to the poor, to proclaim freedom for the prisoners, recovery of sight for the blind and to release the oppressed because the year of the Lord’s favor has arrived (Luke 4:18, 19). What all of this tells me is that Jesus came to set people free! He even says, “So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free” (John 8:36 NLT). Are you free?

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Jesus tells us that “God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24 NIV). Now this isn’t a suggestion that Jesus makes, but more of a non-negotiable declaration. If we are to be worshipping in the presence of God, we must be filled with His Spirit and Truth. I’ve often heard this statement, “The only way to approach a holy God is to do it His way” which is true. Now if the Father desires true worshippers, who will worship Him in Spirit and Truth (John 4:23), who are we to deny the Creator and Giver of life by worshipping Him in our own way. Do you think that He will accept our worship? Probably not. I mean that’s why there are so many religions in the world because people are deciding for themselves who, how and why they worship. But, Jesus is adamant about Him being the only way to the Father (John 14:6). It’s interesting that Jesus says “the Father” and not God. Because Jesus isn’t inviting us into some objectively impersonal notion here, but rather a subjectively intimate familial relationship.

What I find interesting in today’s churches (without getting too ecclesial) are the two extremes of friendship with God and reverence for God. On the one hand, there are churches that solely emphasize that through Jesus people are now friends with God, while on the other hand, there are churches that only emphasize having reverence for God. Both are true, but what my heart longs to see a great blending of the two. To see the people of God in a vibrantly deep and intimate familial relationship with the Father while they stand in awe of His majestic glory. After talking this over with some friends over lunch yesterday, we concluded that it’s through our friendship with God that should draw us into a deeper and more vibrant worship of God in which we experience a greater depth and magnitude of His majesty, beauty and glory. But, something is getting lost in the translation.

I can only imagine what it would be like to be in the throne room of God. What comes to mind is Ezekiel 1 where the heavens open and Ezekiel sees visions of God. Without going into the details of the vision (I recommend reading through the chapter yourself), what seems to stand out is the sheer magnificence of God and the glory that radiates from Him which moves Ezekiel uncontrollably facedown (Ezekiel 1:28). All this is pretty amazing, but it’s the next verses that have drawn my attention: the Lord says to Ezekiel, “‘Son of man, stand up on your feet and I will speak to you.’ As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet, and I heard him speaking to me” (Ezekiel 2:1, 2 NIV). The only way that Ezekiel was able to stand in the presence of God was by His Word (command) and Spirit.

Through Jesus, believers today do have the Spirit of God living within them (1 Corinthians 6:19) and are hopefully filling themselves with the Word of God. So, we are able to stand in the presence of God. And as the writer of Hebrews tells us because Jesus is our High Priest, “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16 NIV). Maybe what needs to happen is more of God’s people need to be meditating on the the throne of grace where Jesus, the spotless Lamb of God, sits (Revelation 5). I believe the more we envision this, the greater we will see Jesus not only as our beloved Savior and Friend, but also as the Lord of Lords and King of Kings (Revelation 19:16).

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