God gave me a vision in the International House of Prayer’s prayer room (12/29/09) of my whole body engulfed in flames. There have been numerous times that people have prophesied over me that I will bring light into dark places. I’ve always interpreted this as meaning I would carry the light of the Gospel. After the vision, God said to me that I will literally be this light because my very life embodies the Gospel. I have been tranformed by God’s Word and Spirit and the fire of the Gospel continues to grow within me. But, I need to be continually fanning this flame of His Word and Spirit by stoking the fires within through love and obedience. God has anointed my life with a fierce and fiery love which demands intimacy with God. He has poured out His unconditional love upon me and He desires my unconditional love for Him in return. God will settle for no less and neither should I. This will take consistent sacrifice and faithful commitment to being about the Father’s will. Just like Jesus, I need to be doing the things of heaven, the things that He saw the Father doing (John 5:19) here on earth and proclaiming that the Kingdom of God is here!

I love this next passage of Scripture where Jesus further expands on the oneness of Him and the Father to Philip: “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves (John 14:6-11)

God has been working on my character since the first day He saved me, so that I can bear the weight of His anointing on my life. For awhile I struggled with feeling like I’ve disqualified myself and that maybe God had taken His anointing from me because it has been such a rocky road of sanctification and such a hard process of character building. Trust me when I say that when Jesus saved me, I was pretty much characterless. I was a drug dealer and addict who would do just about anything to satisfy my lust for drugs, money and sex. But as Jesus says, “What is impossible with men, is possible with God” (Luke 18:27). Truly, my life is a living testimony to the truth of Jesus’ words. 

So, as God has once again met me, He has reaffirmed His anointing on my life and let me know that His Hand has never left me and that He is holding back the fullness of His anointing on my life, so that He can work on my character and in many ways bring healing and restoration to my life. He has impressed upon me the great importance of first seeking His Face in intimacy and then seeking the release of His Hand of power through His anointing on my life. Heidi Baker sums this up well when she says, “Fruitfulness is born out of intimacy with God” in which I whole-heartedly agree. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it (John 14:12-14). To do what the Father is doing in Heaven demands that I be near enough to Him to actually see what He is doing. This demands an intimacy that comes only through Jesus (John 14:6).

I have been encouraged recently by Bill Johnson who says, “When promotion comes too soon the impact of our gift brings a notoriety that becomes the catalyst to our downfall” (When Heaven Invades Earth, 2003, 61). I have already experienced this in my own life because of my arrogance where I became puffed up with myself due to my lacking character. So, God gave me over to my lustful arrogant pursuits, but only to teach me lessons of submission and humilty. Bearing God’s anointing demands that a person be fully dependent on God’s strength through His Holy Spirit. Jesus modeled this perfectly with His own life. Character and anointing are intertwined. God does not want to see me fall, so as my character increases so will His anointing. Men of God disqualify themselves because they don’t have the character to bear the anointing. Or they never truly walk in the fullness of the anointing because they lived in their own strength, rather then God’s. I need to humble myself under God’s mighty hand and He will lift me up in due time (1 Peter 5:6) in His strength. Thank you Lord, for bringing greater clarity to what You have been doing in my life and for releasing my heart to love You in greater love and measure and for giving me a renewed fervor to pursue integrity. It’s all coming together as Your story in me continues…