I have this longing in my heart to love and to be loved. We all have this feeling. I believe it’s because we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). God is love (1 John 4:8) and so He designed us for love. Love is a relational concept, for love to be fully realized there needs to be a relationship in place. That’s why when God created Adam, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). So, God creates Eve and she and Adam become one flesh (husband and wife). Maybe that’s why loneliness is so difficult, we were not made to be alone. That’s where I’ve been this past week. Longing for a wife. Wait, I’m a bit more passionate than that – what I’m longing for is to be wildly in love. I’ve always had this longing, it’s nothing new, but this past week has been particularly rough. Maybe it’s because I’ve been wrestling in my heart with the desire to throw caution to the wind and being pursuing this woman that I’ve recently met, even though there are some cautionary flags that have come to my attention. Though I would love to pursue a deeper relationship with this woman, there are quite a few obstacles that would need overcoming. Now hear me on this, I fully understand that love is a choice and that love takes work. But, it just seems like we are at differing life places. So, what I’ve been wrestling with is, in essence, surrendering this desire to God which hasn’t been easy.
In the midst of this struggle, there has been a song that has really ministered to me by Patty Griffin called “When It Don’t Come Easy.” Coming to terms with the loneliness in my heart is rough to say the least. Then, surrendering the desire to pursue this woman has been also very difficult. So, this song has been a good reminder that I’m not alone and that God is with me and for me. Being reminded of this has helped me to embrace more fully the reality that in many ways, this longing in my heart is for a love greater than just human love. It is a longing for divine Love.