Freedom Blog

How do psychologists study happiness? Using the 1-7 scale, read the 5 statements below and indicate your agreement with each item.

1. Strongly Disagree                                  _____ In most ways my life is close to my ideal
2. Disagree                                                  _____ The conditions of my life are excellent.
3. Slightly Disagree                                    _____ I am satisfied with my life.
4. Neither Agree Nor Disagree                _____ So far I have gotten the important things I want in life.
5. Slightly Agree                                          _____ If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.
6. Agree    
7. Strongly Agree

You have just taken the Satisfaction with Life Scale. Now, to find out how happy you perceive yourself to be, add up your ratings. If you are a believer, than hopefully Jesus was an important deciding factor for each statement.

35 – 31  Extremely Satisfied                       What does Jesus say is part of an ideal life?

26 – 30  Satisfied                                          What does Jesus say makes life excellent?

21 – 25  Slightly Satisfied                            What does Jesus say brings satisfaction?                  

20          Neutral                                             What does Jesus say is important in life?

15 – 19  Slightly Dissatisfied                      What does Jesus say about regret and redemption?

10 – 14  Dissatisfied

  5 -  9    Extremely Dissatisfied                 Over the next few weeks, I’ll be tackling each one of these questions.

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I was riding in my sister-in-law’s car (in Texas) the other day and saw a bird catch a junebug in midair. Junebugs are pretty large, so it was really easy to see all the action go down (even though it was literally like a few seconds). I saw a junebug flying just to the right of the car when all of a sudden this bird comes swooping in like a missle. But, right at the last moment the bird pulls up and flutters in midair in order to nimbly pluck the junebug out of the air. I was really quite amazed at the deftness of the bird. It looked like the whole moment was choreographed. I even thought to myself, “Wow, that was amazing. I can’t believe I just got to see that happen.” Right in that moment, the Holy Spirit put this thought in my mind – “You are getting a glimpse into how God delights in His creation.”

On further reflection, I realized that the bird was doing exactly what it was created to do and that God delights in watching His creation act and be how He created them to act and be. Of course, I immediately related that to myself and began asking myself: “How closely am I acting and being how God created me to act and be?”

At first, I was like, now do I really want to go down this road because let’s face it, I’m complicated. Doesn’t God’s Word say that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). But, then again, I’m not sure the psalmist means that we are complicated in the sense that I am using the word. I’m complicated because my brokenness makes me hide, deny and lie. Though I’d like to think that I’m low maintenance, I imagine from God’s perspective, I am definitely high maintenance. But, I must never forget that because I am in Christ, God sees me and loves me as His child (1 John 3:1). He’s even given me the Holy Spirit to remind me of this (Romans 8:16). God is love (1 John 4:8,16) and He is patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4) with me. But He also disciplines me as any Father would their child (Hebrews 12:7-11).

But, back to the question at hand, “How closely do I act and be how God created me to act and be?” I really don’t think that this is a question that has a simple answer (but here goes). Initially, because of sin, I’d have to say no, not by a long shot. But, because of God’s grace and the redemptive work that He has begun in me in Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit, I’d have to say, “getting closer, day by day.” Philippians 1:6 says that God will finish the good work He’s begun in us (which includes me): His work of restoration, so that we will act and be more like He originally created us to act and be.  And that He will carry us into completion: This completion Paul is talking about is that one day I (we) will be just like Jesus (1 John 3:2), who is an example of humanity without sin (Hebrews 4:15).

So, instead of letting my fallen propensity for perfectionism lead me to micromanaging my sanctification (I’m pretty sure that’s not Paul means when he says to “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” Philippians 2:12). I am learning to embrace more of God’s grace everyday by doing what little I can each day in surrendering my will to God. I am learning that restoration is a lifelong process and that I need to have a realistic and sober-minded view in this as God is continually purifying my heart of sinful patterns. But, I also need to be doing all I can in guarding my heart (Proverbs 4:23). So, how am I acting and being as God originally created me to act and be? Because of Jesus – closer and closer everyday!

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When will my behavior catch up to my status in Christ? I am constantly feeling like I’ve missed the bus for school,  the school of eternal life where the Holy Spirit reminds me of all of Jesus’ teachings (John 14:26), because I’ve overslept. I long for my life to be a sweet aroma to God, that He would be pleased with my sacrifice of praise (Hebrews 13:15). I long for the actions of life to be pleasing to God. But, then I’ll get sidetracked with selfish pursuits or lax into complacency. More and more, Paul’s words describe my life: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). My desire is that the actions of my life, my behavior, would reflect the reality of my blameless status in Christ. Is that asking too much?

I know that I need to give myself grace because I am still in process. But, my present reality frustrates me. My pride that refuses to accept where the Lord has me in the process of my sanctification has an even harder time accepting God’s grace. My pride wants to work out its own plan of blamelessness, rather than stand upon Christ’s work of redemption. But, then I read verses like: “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight” (Ephesians 1:4); “He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 1:8); and I am reminded that it’s not all up to me, that God is with me through it all and that He will carry me through into completion (Philippians 1:6). I often feel like my behavior has a long way to go before it matches my status of blamelessness. But, then again maybe that’s the best place to be because it humbles me to seek more of God’s grace. Soli Deo Gloria.

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Lately, I’ve been asking myself this question: “What is it that I live for?” This has challenged me to really think through my currently lifestyle without any filters or rationalizations: to be just plain honest with myself. This is definitely easier said than done because of my desire to “halo effect” my life. Halo effecting likes to bend reality a bit in order to make ourselves feel better about ourselves by stretching and exaggerating our better traits and actions. Halo effecting makes broad sweeping evaluations of people based on their more positive traits and then builds on these traits by superimposing them onto other areas of a person’s life and character which may or may not deserve the accolade. The way that I see it, halo effecting is directly connected to our shame. Shame seems to always want to paint ourselves in a better light than what is actually true.

In many ways, hiding is a component of halo effecting. It makes us hide from God, others, even ourselves. We see this from the very beginning with Adam and Eve. Their shame made them hide (Genesis 3:7, 10). I don’t know about you, but I am an expert at hiding. When I ignore my limitations and failings, I am hiding. I’d much rather focus on my strengths, rather than my weaknesses (who doesn’t). If it were up to me, I’d ignore my weaknesses all together by pretending that I didn’t have any in the first place. We’d all much rather project to the world that we have it all together. But again, is this reality? Or does this create a kind of alternate reality, even a non-reality where I live more artificial than authentic? Living this way hinders us from being present with the Lord and also works against the transformation that God wants to bring to our lives.

Halo effecting blinds us to the reality that maybe we aren’t as great as we think we are or like others to believe we are. Now don’t misunderstand me here, I’m not saying that we should have a negative, defeatist or fatalistic view of ourselves. What I am saying is that we need to have a realistic view of ourselves. To soberly see ourselves both in the light of our fallenness and in the light of God’s redemptive grace. But, when we begin to ignore that we are limited, we also ignore the reality that we are in need God’s redemptive grace which only perpetuates a distorted view of ourselves. Because of our fallenness, we all have this innate proclivity to want to project a better image of ourselves to others, to ourselves, even God. Whenever I feel the desire to halo effect my life, I remind myself that God loves me unconditionally (John 3:16; Romans 5:8), that He is my strong tower (Prov 18:10), that He is my fortress of faith (Ps 18:2) and that He is my divine warrior (Rev 19:11-16). Truly, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

What is it that you live for?

Here’s a quote from John Bunyun: “If my life is fruitless, it doesn’t matter who praises me, and if my life is fruitful, it doesn’t matter who criticizes me.” Reading this quote has helped to bring some clarity to my musings about my life. It has helped me to realize that a fruitful life will speak for itself (as will a fruitless life). It has also inspired me to simply seek what Jesus says is worth committing my life to and to just seek being faithful to God and leaving all the results up to Him.

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I will be attending my last official class of seminary tomorrow. It has been a long arduous four years, but I will have finished all the coursework for the Master’s of Divinity degree at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. I truly am amazed at where God has taken me. Twenty years ago (1989), I was just beginning my journey into the drug lifestyle. Fifteen years ago (1994), I was hopelessly addicted to cocaine and soon to be heroin, ecstasy and speed. Ten years ago (1999), on the verge of despair, God entered my life. A year later Jesus becomes my Savior and Lord and I am filled with the Holy Spirit. Five years ago (2004), I finally become comfortable in the Body of Christ. A year later I enter seminary and here I am today, writing a blog on a website dedicated to praying for those struggling with drug addiction. In many ways you could say that I have come full circle.

Whenever life begins to overwhelm me, it helps for me to think back about just where God plucked me from. How His Spirit came into the deep darkness that was my life and brought me into His loving light. Whenever my pride rises up trying to claim glory for itself, it helps for me to remind myself that the target age that I was living for was 30, if I made to 30, life accomplished. It truly is only because of Jesus that I am alive today. Whenever I reach a place of discouragement where thinking back on God’s faithfulness in my own life isn’t enough to break me out of my funk, a scene from Jesus’ life serendipitously flickers through my mind.

It’s just after Jesus teaches the masses that He is the Bread of Life (John 6). Many of those who hear Him have a really hard time grasping what Jesus is saying and what happens is that many people begin to complain that the teaching is just too hard to understand and start leaving. So, Jesus turns to the twelve disciples and asks them if they want to go as well. But, Simon Peter tells him: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God” (vv.68, 69). Peter’s words give me great comfort because they remind me that no matter how hard life may get or how difficult this journey of faith may be or how painful surrender becomes. If I really think about it, where else am I to go? Back into the world? No, been there and done that – the world holds nothing for me. Jesus has the very words of eternal life: His words have the power to bring me into eternity and eternity into me. “There is no other place for me, but at the feet of Jesus.”

Now, if you asked me anytime in my life if, I ever thought I’d be here right now in this moment, saying those words. I’d have to say “No.” Never in my wildest dreams (and I have had some doozies) would I have ever dreamt of this very moment, which makes it all the more incredible that: I am truly living this dream of amazing grace. My life is a living testimony to the grace and mercy of God and because of this, embodies the Gospel. As Paul stated about his own life, so I: “But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me—and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace” (1 Corinthians 15:10 NLT). Go God!

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