Freedom Blog

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NLT) says: God has planted eternity in the human heart. Understanding this truth can really help in illuminating the reality of why addiction is so rampant in the world. What is it that can satisfy the hunger and thirst of our hearts? Though we desperately try to find satisfaction in what this world has to offer and maybe it does pacify us for awhile, but (I think we all know from personal experience) this contentment never stays long.  Is it because we hunger and thirst for eternity that we will never find the lasting satisfaction that our hearts long for in this earthly world? If this last question resonated with you, then like me, you have to ask this next question: So, what will satisfy my eternal hunger and thirst?

Now we are all prone to addiction at varying degrees, some more than others and still others (like myself) have been completely captivated by addiction to the point where life became meaningless. For me, life became a vicious cycle of feeding my addictions which made life despairingly tedious. Maybe deep down you are wondering if there is something more to life than what you are currently experiencing. I believe there is. I have personally experienced the riches of eternity in the here and now which has helped me to see the treasures of this world as mere trinkets in comparison.

The Bible also says: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us” (2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV). In this journey through transformation that God has been taking me on, I have come to cherish this verse in my heart because it has helped to remind me that 1) the power of God runs through me and that 2) there is a far greater treasure within me than any treasure I may encounter in the world. This treasure which has been placed within everyone who believes is “the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” (2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV).

Whenever I pause long enough to internalize this truth, to really embrace the reality that right now within me dwells eternal hope, the temporal cloudy skies that darken my heart – part – and heaven’s eternal light breaks through. Just as Paul marveled, we too should marvel, because God has entrusted to us, weak and fragile vessels (jars of clay), with the treasure of the gospel of God’s glory that is revealed in Jesus. In Him, our eternal hunger and thirst is satisfied because God has sealed those who believe in Jesus with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our eternal inheritance (Ephesians 1:13-14). Right now within each and every believer through the presence and power of the Holy Spirit, literally, dwells eternity to the praise of God’s glory. Such amazing grace!

So, when the battle within overwhelms you to the point of despair or when the treasures of this world take you hostage, remember this truth, that within you resides eternity, that within you lives the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 8:11). Be encouraged!

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April 20th is symbolically know in the drug culture world as a day to get high. Millions of people around the world at this moment are either getting high or are planning to go to a 420 rally, in order to get high. For them, to be able to get high on 4/20 at 4:20 is profoundly meaningful. We truly are in a spiritual battle. If there is a day that the devil truly dominates in blinding people’s eyes (2 Corinthians 4:4), it’s today.

So let’s start taking this day (and time) back for the Lord through prayer and fasting. However the Lord moves you, please be obedient! Pray that God would open people’s eyes to the light of the Gospel (2 Corinthians 4:4) and that through divine appointments the scales that blind them from the Truth would fall from their eyes (Acts 9:18), so that they can begin to embrace the meaning that God wants to bring into their lives through Jesus.

Also, ask the Lord of the harvest to raise up more laborers for the “drug culture” harvest field (Luke 10:2). Thank you for your faithfulness in praying for those at 4:20pm. When you prayer at 4:20pm you are one of these laborers. Blessings on you! Finally, my prayer for all of us is that God would continue to help us rely more on His strength when we are weak (2 Corinthians 12:10) and move us to remember to cast all our anxieties onto Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). Peace.

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Over these past few months Jesus has been challenging me to really wrestle with this question: “Am I truly submitting to His lordship over my life and His headship over the church?” For me when I think lordship what immediately comes to mind is trust. When I am living a life submitted to the lordship of Christ, it means that I trust Jesus knows what’s best for me. Now, I’m not saying that I need to be at a place where I immediately accept and embrace everything Jesus brings into my life (if that were true, I’d probably be sporting a halo and have wings). No, what I am alluding to here is the resistance and doubt that I have in my heart when it comes to believing and waiting on His plans for my life. It’s when I try to circumvent or even try to answer my own prayers that I reject Jesus’ lordship over my life.

It’s the same with submitting to Jesus’ headship over the church. I was just talking with a fellow brother about his church back in Australia which is a “Presence” driven church. This resonates with me. A “Presence” driven church actively moves in the gifts of the Holy Spirit and allows Him to orchestrate the flow of the service.  I do feel like part of the process of submitting to Jesus’ headship over the church is to be more “Presence” driven. My only concerns are (and this is what I am wrestling in my heart about) “Am I fearful of giving up control of the Sunday gathering because I want to be in control?” Now this can flesh out in a variety of ways: 1) I’m afraid of chaos happening; 2) I’m afraid that the Word will get lost; and 3) I’m afraid of what may happen (supernaturally). Now what these three concerns have in common are: mistrust and control. So, again I am drawn back to submitting to the lordship of Christ (trust) and headship of Christ (control). Of course both of these issues could be interchangeable with control being at odds with lordship and trust hindering headship.

So, where to from here? I’m still in process, but, bottom line, I know that these are good wrestlings. And no matter how long I wrestle, I know that I am growing and maturing in this process. A friend said to me once, “Struggle is good, it’s when there’s no struggle that we should be concerned.” Now, how I’ve always interpreted this is: Struggle shows that I am either in the process of transformation or that I have been transformed by God and am now in the process of walking in that transformation by struggling to not revert back to my old ways of living. It’s when I’ve either grown complacent where I am completely uninterested about being transformed by God or when I have given into my carnal selfish desires which hardens my heart and makes me indifferent and unresponsive to God’s movements of redemption that struggle ceases. This is when there needs to be concern. But, when there’s struggle, this means I am actively joining with Jesus as He fights for my freedom.

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This is probably the most terrifying thing to do because walking in brokenness means letting go of all the should’ve, would’ve and could’ves that we hold onto. Which for the most part is a good thing because living in regret can really hinder a person from launching into the future God has for them. Letting myself off the hook of regret was a huge milestone in my own journey in embracing more of God’s grace and future in Christ.

But, walking in brokenness also means letting go of all the little embellishments that we add onto our past. Those seemingly harmless extras that distort the playback of our memories where we are a bit more heroic or clever or witty or compassionate or loving or kind (you fill in the blank), so that we don’t feel as awkward or embarrassed about ourselves. Oftentimes, I do this to help cope with the sense of shame and disappointment that I feel with myself. These days, I am learning just how much harder it is let go of these exaggerations because it challenges me to face the naked truth about myself and pushing towards my brokenness.

God’s got me at a place where I am becoming more and more aware of my plastic self: the part of me that wishes that I wasn’t as broken as I am; the part of me that wishes that I was further along on this journey into redemption that I am. My pride refuses to acknowledge the reality that I am broken and my fear escapes into the make-believe land where I always win the girl, the argument and the race; where I am smarter than I am and know all the answers. That place in my mind where I always save the day because I am fearless and unstoppable. The place where I am invincible. This pretending which I sooth myself with is part of my soul sickness because it hinders me from truly loving and accepting myself as God loves and accepts me warts and all.

It’s not that God loves that I am dysfunctional, shallow, selfish and judgmental. He loves me because that’s who God is: God is love (1 John 4:16), but He loves me enough to not let me stay that way. God is passionate about forming Christ in me because the more I become like Jesus, the more I reflect His glory out onto a broken and lost world in need of redemption. But, I need to stop running from my brokenness and begin surrendering this make-believe world I escape into (which includes those tiny creative improvements I like to give myself). The flipside of all this is that: It’s in this place that I can experience an even greater depth of God’s grace and love that would have remained unknown to me, if I chose to go on pretending.

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